Usually, everyone who has a dog either calls him Rover or Boy or something, I called mine "SEX". Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day, I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in this alley at 4 A.M. I said I'm looking for "Sex." My case comes up Thursday. One day I went to City Hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one also," then I said, but this is a dog, and he said he did not care how she looked. Then I said, you don't seem to understand, I've had Sex since I was two years old. He replied, you must have been a strong boy.
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding, he told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, but Sex has played a big part in my life, and my whole life style revolves around Sex. He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in the church. I told him that everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. And my family is now barred from the church.
My wife and I took the dog along with us on our honeymoon. When I checked in at the Motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I, and a special room for Sex. The clerk said every room in the Motel is for sex. Then, you don't understand, I said, "Sex keeps me awake at night." And the clerk said, "Me too."
One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said, "Show off." I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." And the Judge said, "Me too." I told him after I was married Sex left me, he said "Me too."
Well, now I've been thrown in Jail, been married, divorced and had more Damn trouble with that dog than I gambled for. Why just the other day, when I went for my first session with a Psychiatrist and he asked me, "what seems to be the trouble?" I replied, well, Sex had died and left my life. "It's like loosing a best friend and it's lonely." The doctor said, "Look mister, you and I both know that sex is not a man's best friend, so, get yourself a DOG!!!!!!"
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Last Modified: Thursday, 24-Jan-2008 08:06:40 EST
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