Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes
his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she
is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye."
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I
want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all
the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my
own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders
said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm
going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of
three, then line up in a circle."
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman
because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not
trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to
me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in
school."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson doing business again with
promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out
smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during
his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the
clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at
every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six
o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27
record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road.. As
general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
(1992)
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at
practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm
going to be an uncle or an aunt." (1982)
Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms
Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle
for in his upcoming contract negotiations:
"He wants Texas back."(1981)
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that
a fire at Alabama's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the
real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." (1991)
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as
opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just
darker." (1991)
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to
vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get
shot."(1996)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He
said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' " (1991)
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
(1991)
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to
me like you're spending too much time on one subject." (1987)